Envious Stones
by ClockworkOtter
Summary: When Envy is killed by Roy and Hughes, Father chooses a human to make into a new Envy. She goes to befriend the Elrics, in order to lure them when the Promised Day comes, but what can a Homunculus do when she begins to view them as family?


_Stop... please, stop the pain!_

A voice screamed, laughing, in her head. She could tell it was male, but only barely.

"_So you're my new body, hmm? Hah!_" It was still laughing. An image of what could only be a hermaphrodite in a palm tree costume wavered in her vision, his face twisted in a snarl.

"No..." She gasped, fighting. She struggled against the burning sensation that was sliding through her bloodstream.

"_Damn you_!" The voice screamed as the pain lessened. It surged, stronger than ever, but she held it back. _I'm not giving up my goddamn body, you bastard!_ She screamed at him. She struggled for what must have been hours, the image in her vision seeming to grow weaker over time.

"_Fuck... Fine, dammit! I can't beat that will. So you're the new Envy, huh? Good luck to you, bitch!"_ He laughed. "_Enjoy your time as a Homunculus. I'll be here in the back of your mind if you want to chat or give up." _He laughed, and vanished. The burning settled down before changing into a light warmth in her back.

"Ha, she survived. A strong one. Envy?" She opened her eyes, and looked up. A white-haired man gazed at her, and she felt a strong urge of love course through her body. _Huh? Why would I view him as a father? I've never met him._

"Huh?" She asked. "Who's Envy?"

The man looked briefly surprised. "You beat Envy?" At her look of confusion, he added, "The one who looks like a palm tree."

"Ugh... Yeah..." She muttered. She felt briefly jealous of this man's ability to make one feel comfortable instantly.

"That means you're the new Envy. Congratulations, my daughter." He smiled benevolently at her, holding out his hand. She grasped it, and allowed the man to pull her to her feet.

"Thanks... but I'm not your daughter." She couldn't shake the strange cloud around her thoughts.

"You are now." He assured her. "Can you think clearly? No, of course not." He sighed. "It will fade soon."

She nodded. "Thanks, Father." _Well, he says I'm his daughter, no way a man like this is wrong._ She decided.

He smiled widely. "Come on, let's go meet your siblings."

"Uh... Father, why am I here?"

He smiled. "You're curious. Well, the old Envy was killed by Maes Hughes and Roy Mustang. We had not realized Roy might have sneaked out to meet his friend, and he was unprepared for his flames. We chose a human, you, for his new body. You won out over him." He clasped her shoulder. "Don't worry. Let's go meet the others."

She nodded, smiling, and followed him out of the cold, hospital-style room.

Father led her through a hall that seemed to be made of pipes. _What's my name? Right, Envy. No, the other name. _She frowned. _I think it had a Ka in it... (_A/N: In Japanese, K isn't a letter. Ka is though.) _Whatever. I guess Envy will work._

"Is this the new girl?" A feminine voice called. Envy looked up, and was instantly jealous. This girl was _beautiful._

"Yes. Envy, this is Lust. Lust, Envy." Envy smiled meekly and nodded.

"Hi." She muttered, shuffling.

Something black and sharp-looking darted towards her. She jumped, startled, as it stopped underneath her jaw.It lifted her chin up. She glanced, startled, into Lust's face. "Don't be shy, child. We won't bite. Well, Gluttony might, but you can kick his ass. And Pride might, too, if you get him mad. I suggest against it." She smirked, and walked away, the sharp thing shooting back to her hand.

"Did she scare you? I assure you, she's one of the nicer ones."

"Father?" She asked after a moment of walking.

"Yes, my daughter?" He turned towards her, smiling.

"What was that she did with her finger?" She asked.

"Oh, that's her Homunculus ability." He said with a smile. "The Ultimate Lance. Yours is the Ultimate Disguise. Try to change your shape."

"Huh?"

He chuckled. "Is there something about your body, or clothes, or hair, or even eyes, that you hate? You can change your shape into anything. You also have an original form, which is extremely large. Your body is really dense because of this. Try it."

_What should I change?_ She wondered. _My hair._ She decided, and focused on her hair growing longer and changing red. Surprisingly, it took no effort. She smiled at the thick locks, seeing no frizz."Wow." She muttered. He smiled, looking pleased at her success.

A strange shape waddled into the hall. She stopped, blinking in surprise at the almost featureless face.

"Father? Where's Lust?" It whined.

"Hello, Gluttony." He smiled at what she supposed was a Homunculus. "This is Envy."

"Doesn't look like Envy."

"She's the new one." He replied. "Envy, this is Gluttony." She nodded, feeling way out of her comfort zone. _Father looks comfortable. He's probably comfortable in any situation._ She fought down the surge of jealousy that made her want to snarl. Somehow, she didn't think she wanted to be snappish around this man.

"Nice to meet you." She said, smiling as the last of that uncomfortable surge of jealousy and hatred vanished.

"Hello." He said back, grinning. She blinked at his Cheshire grin. "Where's Lust?" He asked again.

"She was heading outside, I believe." Father replied. "You can go take a look."

"Thank you, Father." He said, looking slightly more cheerful. He waddled away, smiling at Envy one last time.

He continued ahead. Envy followed after, testing out her abilities by changing things around. She changed briefly into a sparrow, but couldn't fly for some reason. _I'm probably too dense._ She thought with a regretful sigh, changing back into her red-haired human shape.

She followed Father into a large room. A chair that almost looked like a throne was int the dead center. Two people were in there, one asleep, one reading.

"Pride, Sloth." Father called. The young boy looked up with a yawn, setting down his book. The large one didn't stir. The boy sighed, and a shadow rose up, an eye opening it it. It slashed across the larger one's back. Envy gasped quietly in surprise.

"What... a... bother..." The... creature, there was no other word for it, sat up. "Where's... Envy..." He asked.

"This is our new Envy. Envy, the smaller one is Pride. Pride, Envy. Outside of here, he is known as Selim. Sloth, Envy. Envy, Sloth." He conduction the introductions smoothly. Envy smiled and nodded at them. "Taking a break, Sloth?"

"Yes... there was... a cave-in... need more souls for stone." He groaned.

"Very well, my son." Father told him, smiling.

"What happened to the old Envy?" Pride asked, a few new shadows sliding towards her.

"Envy here beat him. Apparently, she has a strong will, no matter how small in stature she is." Father replied.

Envy twitched. "Who's small?" She demanded, annoyed. _No one calls me small! Not even Father can do that._ She thought, annoyed.

Father glanced at her in surprise, and burst out laughing. "Does she not sound like one of our precious sacrifices?" He asked

"Huh?" She blinked in confusion. "What the crap does that mean?" She asked. _Good, I'm not as nervous anymore. I can be myself again._

"Hmm..." Father got a strange look in his eyes. "Envy, dear, do you think you could do something for me?"

"Anything, Father." She replied, smiling.

He grinned. "I think you'd get on with Fullmetal. Do you think I could send you on a mission to befriend him? It would be so much easier to get a hold of him when the time comes, if we pretend to hold a friend hostage."

A slow grin came over her face. "Anything for you, dear Father."

Envy sighed, and glared at her mirror. _Eyes... nothing too unnatural. Maybe blue? _She studied the results. "Doesn't work with my hair." She decided. "But I'm tired of red anyway. Maybe..." She grinned. "Heh. I'm sure he'll relate quite easily to a fellow short blonde." She then glared at herself. _I'm not short!_

_What about clothes? Nothing provocative._ She decided. _Fullmetal doesn't seem like the type to get along with a provocative person. Hm_.

She changed her clothing into a black shirt with bell sleeves going down to her elbows, and Xerxian style black pants bound around her ankles to reduce chances of tripping. After a moment of trying to decide what would be most practical, she decided on simple gray flats. A quick twist with her Homunculus power changed her simple hospital gown into the clothing of her choice.

She studied her reflection before frowning. _I better keep my eyes Homunculus red._ She decided. _He'll figure out what I am anyway, and he doesn't seem like the type to trust a liar._

"Father?" She called. _I'll have to pass this with Father first. I'm not sure he wants Fullmetal to know about the Homunculus._

"Yes, my daughter?"

She stepped fully into the center room where Father sat in what could only be called a throne. "I was thinking, Father. The Elric brothers will eventually figure out that I am a homunculus, even if I try to hide it. They do not seem the naïve, trust-anyone type. I believe that I could convince him that, despite being a Homunculus, I am on his side. It would make sense for an envious person to envy the friendship of humanity." She smiled as Father's face lit up.

"Very good, my daughter." He stood up and walked across the cold stone floor to her. He set his hand on her shoulder and smiled. "You are intelligent. Do what you view to be in our best interests, I trust you. Go, my daughter." She bowed, and turned to the hallways, a smile on her face as she left.

She stepped into the sun, blinking. _Bright. Now, to find Mustang. I believe that he's Fullmetal's superior._ She made her way towards Central HQ, a smile on her face as she basked in the heat of the sun. She found herself shamelessly sightseeing the new area, watching people bustling around, doing human things with human friends. A slow smile came onto her face.

"Miss! Watch out!" A ball came barreling towards her. She caught it in surprise as a child smacked into her legs.

"Is this yours?" She asked the little girl. She looked up with wide eyes and nodded.

Envy handed it to the girl with a smile. "Be more careful." She cautioned. _Lucky child. So carefree..._

"Thank you, ma'am!" The girl squeaked. She turned to run off, and slammed into another pair of legs.

"Elysia! Watch out!" The woman laughed. She looked up at Envy. "I'm sorry. This is my daughter, Elysia. I'm Gracia."

"Envy." Envy replied with a smile. The woman stiffened.

"The homunculus?" She demanded. "I though Roy killed you."

"Hold it, hold it." Envy held up a hand. "Roy as in Roy Mustang?" At the woman's nod, she smiled. "He killed the former Envy. I'm the new girl. But I don't like what they're doing down there, so I ran off." She assured the woman, who relaxed. "Can you take me to Mustang? I need to speak with him." The woman hesitated, still suspicious.

"I'm not as strong as the former Envy. I'm sure he could eat me with ease if I threatened him." She sighed in exasperation.

The woman thought for one more minute before nodding. "Alright. HQ is this way.:

As the woman took Gracia's hand, Envy smirked inwardly. _Humans are so easy to manipulate. This one in particular seems naïve._

The woman, who Envy found out was Gracia Hughes, the wife of the man the other Envy had tried to kill, led her into the tall building that could only be a military building.

"Maes!" She called, waving over a man.

"My dear wife and child!" The man ran over and scooped up Elysia, much to Envy's surprise. "Why are you here, my dear pumpkin?" He asked.

"This young lady needs to see Roy. Can you take her?" Gracia asked.

"I was on my way there anyway." Hughes replied. "But what a refreshment to see you, dear one!"

Envy inwardly gagged. _Are all humans this... mushy?_

"Alright, dear, I better go." Gracia said, a bashful smile and blush on her face.

Hughes looked sad. "Very well, my pumpkin. I'll see you after work!" He kissed the child on the cheek before handing her to the woman.

"Daddy, I wanna stay with you!" The child cried.

"Oh, honey, I wish you could stay. But daddy's busy, and you'd be bored. I'll be back before dinner, and we can play then." The child looked disappointed for a brief moment.

"Ok, daddy!" Gracia walked out, leaving an unsure Envy with this crazy man.

"You wanted to see Roy, right?" He asked. She nodded. "Are you an old girlfriend?" He asked nervously. "Roy doesn't like when those come to see him.

"No, I'm a homunculus." She replied. "He killed the one before me, I'd like to thank him for allowing my existence, and give him some information."

Hughes narrowed his eyes at her. "How do I know you're not being sent to kill him?" He demanded.

Envy laughed. "Me, kill him? He's the one that killed the former Envy. I'm not as strong as he was, except in will. No, I've ditched the Ouroboros. I'm not the first Homunculus to do this, either. Greed left over a hundred years ago. I'm going to fight my dear daddy and sibs." She told him.

He hesitated still.

"Don't worry." She told him, feeling slightly cross. _At least he's not as naïve as his wife. _She thought

"Fine." He sighed. "Fullmetal's there too, and his brother. I doubt anyone could take all three at once."

"Fullmetal? Edward Elric?" She asked.

"Mm-hmm." Hughes replied.

_Nice! I don't even have to chase him down!_

He led her to a door. She blinked in surprise at the voice yelling behind it.

"Who are you calling so small he could fit into a light bulb, you bastard!"

"I didn't say that, but you know it's true." A slightly more arrogant sounding voice replied.

"Brother, calm down, please." A slightly metallic voice said nervously. Hughes chuckled.

"Up to their old fights again, huh." He muttered to himself, and knocked.

"Come in." The arrogant voice called.

Hughes turned the door and shoved, cursing. "Fullmetal, stop breaking the damn door!" He yelled. "It's hard to get open now!"

"Sorry!" A voice called back. The door finally opened with a loud _crack_ that made Envy jump.

"Who's this?" A rather small blonde boy asked.

"Hey, Fullmetal, she must be your future wife. She's just as short as you are."

"Who are you calling short!" She and the boy screamed at once.

She glared at the black haired idiot. "Where's Colonel Mustang?" She demanded. "I need to speak with him."

"I'm Mustang." The black-haired man replied.

She stared at him. "Yeah right. No way an idiot like you could have killed my predecessor." She said in disbelief.

"Predecessor?" He frowned, looking confused.

"I'm the new Homunculus, Envy." She placed a hand to her heart. "I don't like what Father and company are doing down their, so I decided to ditch. I'd rather help out you guys. I was human once, so you could say I have a slight attachment." She plopped herself down on one of the couches.

The blonde, presumably Fullmetal, sat next to a suit of armor.

Envy jumped as the empty armor moved. "You're a homunculus?" It asked. Envy stared in surprise.

Fullmetal burst out laughing at the look on her face

The Colonel smirked. "I believe introductions are in order. I presume your name is Envy?" she nodded. "Alright. Envy, the armor is Alphonse Elric."

"Al works." Al cut in.

"And the short one-"

"Who's the miniature pipsqueak!" The blonde shouted.

"Fine, the blonde one is Edward Elric."

"Just call me Ed." He grumbled, glaring at Roy.

Envy looked at Roy. "He's not short. You're all just giants." She muttered, glaring.

Mustang and Al looked at each other and burst out laughing.

When they recovered, Mustang shook his head. "You two must be long-lost twins or something." He chuckled. "You even look alike."

"Heh, not really." Envy chuckled. "This is just the form I like." She grinned, and changed her form. Her hair shortened to about shoulder-length and turned silver, her eyes turned red, and her skin darkened. "I'm Ishvalan." She said calmly. "Or was."

She changed back to her favored form and smirked at their faces.

"You... You can change your appearance?" Ed asked, surprised.

"Yup." She replied. "I'm a shapeshifter. Perfect assassin or spy, huh." She smirked sadly.

Silence fell over the room.

"S-shapeshifter?" Edward stared in disbelief. "How is that possible."

Envy shrugged. "Dunno. My real form is pretty big, though. I suppose I just condense my atoms into whatever form I want. I'm pretty dense. Not in the idiot way." She glared at the amused looking Roy, who closed his mouth. He had been about to say something, she knew it. "I don't like you." She muttered.

She held out her hand. Edward took it, and blinked at the heaviness. "Huh." She pulled her arm back, and supported the back of her head with her arms. "Nice couch, by the way." She told them. "If I could sleep, I think I could with ease."

"You can't sleep?" Al spoke up.

"Nope!" She swung her legs over the edge, sitting up. She plopped her hands into her lap. "I guess that's one thing about being a homunculus. But oh-well. I don't remember what it's like to dream anyway."

"Me neither." Al told her. She glanced up, raising an eyebrow.

"Why?" She asked.

"I'm a suit of armor. No body." He reached up and took off his helmet, showing her the emptiness within.

"Ahh, I see." Envy commented, leaning forward. "So you're pretty much a soul connected to a suit of armor?"

"Mm-hmm." He nodded as well as a suit of armor can.

"We're looking for a Philosopher's Stone to get our bodies back." Ed pulled off his jacket, revealing his automail arm. "My leg's the same."

"I have a Philosopher's Stone." Envy told him, smirking. "All Homunculi do."

Ed and Al moved forward, hope shining in their eyes- or rather, in Ed's.

"Lemme ask you something, before I offer to help out. Will this drain it?"

Ed shook his head. "All we need is to open the gate, run in, and grab our bodies."

She grinned, and stood up. "Happy to assist." She took a deep, theater-style bow. "So you guys are a-okay with using humans to get your bodies back? Geez, that's a little suckish.." She said jokingly.

"Huh?" Ed looked confused. "Using humans? What do you mean?"

"You don't know?" Envy asked, surprised. She crouched down, frowning. "The Philosopher's Stone is made up of human souls."

"What?" Ed gasped, eyes wide. Envy sighed, and plopped backwards into the couch.

"The Philosopher's Stone is made up of live humans. People who make one grab a bunch of humans, set up a circle, drag the poor critters to certain points, and activate the circle. Their souls are what makes up the Stone. I'm not letting you use up what little is left of their lives without their permission. Call me an idealist, or whatever, but I don't like this. See why I ditched?" She waved her hand for emphasis.

Ed grimaced. "Damn it... I don't like using human lives for this crap."

" So are you going to let me help you out here? I don't think any of them would mind, I mean, their existence kinda sucks.."

Ed looked up. "I don't want to use human lives to get my arm and leg back." He sighed. Envy twitched in annoyance.

"Idiot!" She yelled, whacking him.

"You have a dense arm, that hurt, Envy!" the blonde alchemist whimpered, clutching a bruise.

"Suck it up! I just said these guys have a miserable existence! Do you know what it's like to be merely a soul? Not even a suit of armor for a body? No! They want out! So goddamn let me help you, you idiot!" She snarled. "Stop blathering about stupid things like using human lives! Just goddamn help your brother!"

"I don't want to use human lives either." Al put in. "It's not their fault some idiot killed them. I'd rather find a different solution."

Envy sat back, a tic mark forming above her eye. "Fine, whatever. Not like I can make you." She crossed her arms and shut her eyes, fighting down a surge of annoyance_. Idealistic humans. How annoying. Do I really have to stick with these idiots? _She scowled, knowing the answer to that. _I'll do this for Father. Why did it have to be me?_

"So you'll be sticking with us?" Ed asked, turning back to her as they made their way through the packed Central dorms.

"Duh. You're the ones Father dear is after, you know. And it's not like I have any friends to go to." She rolled her eyes.

"I don't mind." Al told his brother. "It'll be nice to have someone else around. She can be helpful, you know- information and such will be easy for her to get to."

"Did I say I minded?" Ed asked, smiling. "Come on in, this is our Central dorm." She followed him in, sighing slightly, before freezing.

"What the hell? Do you guys ever clean this?" She asked, eyes wide.

"Only before inspection." They chorused. She felt another tic mark form.

"Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?" She demanded. "I'm not living in this dump. For all I know you have roaches." She shivered at the thought.

"You're scared of roaches?" Ed asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You aren't?" She asked, giving him a weird look as Al opened a closet full of cleaning supplies. "Ed, if you can't sleep through noise... suck it up and get some goddamn earplugs." She told him. "I'm cleaning this damn place up."

Ed blinked. "Um... okay." He made his way over to an annex of the room, presumably the bedroom.

"Al, I'm drafting you to help me out, seeing as you don't sleep." She told him.

"Yes, ma'am!" He quickly grabbed a trash bag. She studied the room for a moment. It was around twenty feet on all sides in this room, and the kitchen looked to be about five feet by twenty feet. "Alright. I'll start on the kitchen. Al, work in here." She marched over to the kitchen, studying it. _At least there aren't any roaches._ She told herself, unable to feel a bit of depression at the thought of cleaning all of that. The floor looked to be normal linoleum underneath all the trash. Plastic bags, paper bags, books, and dishes littered the floor, and the sink had a mountain of dishes piled up in it. She sighed, steeled her resolve, and opened the dishwasher. _Thank Kami, it's empty._ She sighed with relief, she could get most of the dishes out of her way easily now. She loaded it, grimacing at the state of some of the dishes.

After setting it on a hard wash, she got to work hand-washing the rest. When the sink finally was clear, she grabbed all of the dishes off of the floor and washed those, too, putting them in a cabinet that appeared to be for dishes. She sighed in relief at the close of her least favorite job, and started picking up the trash and tossing it into the trash bin. The floor cleared up pretty quickly, leaving only one job for the kitchen: Scrubbing that damn kitchen until it shone. A sponge, a lot of soap, and a lot of water later, the floor, counters, cabinets, stove, and front of the refrigerator were clean. She opened the fridge, and was relieved to find it well-stocked and clean. _Don't want anything in their food, I guess._

"Al, I'm done in here." She called. She checked the clock briefly, it was almost one o'clock in the morning. She sighed in exasperation, and walked out into the living room.

All glanced up from what he was doing. "Mind helping me sort these?" He asked, motioning to the pile of alchemy books next to him. The floor had been picked up, and the many books she'd seen on the floor were now mostly on shelves. She nodded.

"After we've got all of this done, we need to dust, vacuum, and do anything else needing to be done." She told him, sitting down next to him.

He fumbled with a few of the books. "Ugh. Why couldn't I have gotten a smaller body?" He sighed. She glanced up from the title of the book she was looking at.

"You have a blood seal, right?" She asked.

"Mm-hmm." He replied, setting the book in it's proper place.

"Well, if you want a different body, why not create or get a hold of a more convenient body, and just attach the seal to it? I'm sure your brother can get just about anything you want to alchemized- no, I don't think that's a word, but whatever- so you can move it." She set the books she'd grabbed in their proper places. She noticed Al hadn't moved in a while, and glanced at him. "You okay?"

He snapped out of whatever he was in and stared at her. "You are a genius." He told her, sounding excited. She grinned, pleased at his reaction.

"Thanks. Let's tell your brother about this when he gets up." They finished with the books, and she helped Al to his feet. "Where's the vacuum and duster?" She asked.

He opened the closet again, and pulled out a vacuum and father duster. Her started to turn the vacuum on, but Envy stopped him.

"Oi, we dust first. That way any dust we knock onto the ground gets vacuumed up."

"Oh." He laughed, and grabbed another duster.

"Race you to the middle?" She asked, grinning. He gave her a thumbs-up and started on a bookshelf on his side of the room. She worked fast, but well, finding herself grinning as she worked to the middle. She got there, still grinning. "Hah! I win!" She said triumphantly, thinking there was no way he'd beaten her.

"Hmm, I think not." Al said in amusement from behind her.

"Eh?" She spun around, surprised. All stood there, spinning his duster lazily. She glared. "Let me check your work." She said suspiciously.

"By all means." She glared at the armor before checking very carefully over his side. She didn't find a single speck.

"Damn." She muttered.

"Language." He cautioned her, grinning.

She scowled at him. "Give me the goddamn vacuum, idiot."

At around seven in the morning, Al paused in their conversation. "Brother will be up soon. Let's make breakfast."

"Heh. Food sounds good." She yawned, and stretched. "What do you think he'd like for breakfast?" She asked. "Anything but oatmeal is fine with me."

"Brother would probably like waffles. It's been a while since I've made those." Al said, after a moment of thought.

"Ooh, one of my favorites." She grinned, and walked into her sparkling kitchen proudly.

"Homunculi eat?" Al asked, blinking.

"Yup." She dug through cabinets, shelves, and the fridge for ingredients.

"Oh. Okay." She glanced at him, feeling a weird emotion she couldn't place. After a few moments, she identified it as pity. _How strange. _

She poured the waffle mix into the waffle maker, shut it, and flipped the switch.

"Why did you put sour cream in it?" Al asked, frowning.

"Makes it fluffier and lighter, while still tasting like a waffle should." She told him, watching the red light for any sign of the waffle being done. It gave in under her hawk's eye and flipped off. "Hand me a plate, would you? And get one for Ed, too."

"Mm-hmm." He got out a couple of plates, setting them on the counter. "Is there anything you aren't good at?" He asked, sounding envious.

"Don't be jealous, that's my job. I'm Envy, remember? And I'm not actually all that good at cooking. I know a few dishes- like waffles- to the extreme, but other than that, I'm crap. I can't play music, or sing, or write. I can't dance, either." She told him. "I'm not a creative person. I can fight, clean, shapeshift, and do basic survival techniques, like cooking simple dishes." She motioned to the second waffle that she set on Ed's plate. "Get me the milk, two glasses, and the maple syrup."

"Brother won't drink milk."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Right. Who doesn't like milk?" She asked rhetorically. "Fine. Do you have orange juice for him?"

"Mm-hmm." He opened the fridge, pulling out her directed items. He grabbed a couple glasses, and set them next to the plates. A few waffles later, breakfast was ready. She set the table and stretched.

"I'll go wake him." She told Al. "Go ahead and get whatever you need." She headed towards the bedroom, brushing the flour off of her clothes.

She opened the door, and walked over the the bed. "Ed, time to get up. I made waffles." She called.

"Mom?" Ed muttered, shifting. "I had the weirdest dream..." He sat up, yawned, and looked at her. "Oh." He blinked. "Not a dream. Damn." He looked depressed.

Envy felt a twinge of pity again. _What the hell. It's not like I care about these guys._ She told herself. _But then why did you clean their dorm for them, make them breakfast, and overall act like a mom to them? _A traitorous little voice whispered.

She shook off the strange thoughts. "As I said, time for breakfast. Al said you like waffles?" She asked. He nodded, and stood up. She blinked. "Get a shirt on, before you come out." She told him. He flushed slightly and nodded. She turned and walked back towards the kitchen, leaving the blonde alchemist to get ready for the day.

She plopped into her seat and waited for Ed, resisting the temptation to just eat the waffles sitting on her plate without him.

He walked in a moment later, a plain white t-shirt pulled on. He blinked at the scene before him. Al and Envy sat at a table, where two plates of waffles sat waiting for him. He smiled softly at the oddly domestic scene.

"Hey, idiot, hurry up. I'm kind of hungry, you know. I cleaned your damn house all night, I need food." She snapped. He blinked, and looked around. His eyes widened at just how clean everything was. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, grinned and sat. He reached for his fork, but Envy held up a hand. "I'm an Ishvalan, remember, so I like to pray to Kami before eating. Hold on a second?" She asked.

He nodded, and sat back as Envy closed her eyes. She opened them a moment later. "Let's eat." She announced.

She poured maple syrup on her waffles, passed the bottle to Ed, and dug in.

Ed poured a decent amount of syrup on his waffles, and took a bite. His eyes widened, and he gasped, swallowing. She glanced up.

"Something wrong, Brother?" Al asked, before Envy could.

"It... tastes like Mom's. Even the same texture." He whispered. Envy's eyes softened, and she smiled.

"Like it?" She asked. He nodded, and dug in. She laughed quietly, and kept eating.

Envy stared out the window of the train. Ed had fallen asleep, and Al was immersed in a book.. She glared at the blonde girl they were taking to Rush Valley. _So ditsy... and gear heads are annoying sometimes. Her reaction when she saw Rush Valley on the map... sheesh... Ed must be in love with her or something to go to this trouble for her, mechanic or no. I don't like how violent she is, she might really hurt Ed._ Envy had given up fighting her obvious caring for the Elrics. She was finding herself viewing them as family now, and she knew they were beginning to view her as a mother figure. _Ah, how troublesome it will be when the time comes to lure them to Father. I hope I don't end up betraying him for these humans._

She gazed back out the window, scowling. _I'm going to be surrounded by gearheads. Hundreds and thousands of goddamn gearheads._

"Envy?" Al asked, looking up. "You look depressed."

"I'm wondering how I'm going to survive, surrounded by hundreds of crazy gearheads." She muttered, keeping her voice pitched so it wouldn't reach Winry's ears.

Al chuckled. "Me too. They're going to think I have a whole suit of automail. I'm not going to get a moment's rest." He sighed. "But why are you depressed?"

She raised a sardonic eyebrow at him. "Think about it. I hate people who obsess over one thing. Gearheads obsess over things like automail, a subject that bores the hell out of me anyway. Geez, Ed needs to give that girl something to think about other than automail."

Al squeaked. She raised her eyebrow at him again. "You didn't notice? Do you think Ed would agree to stop at Rush Valley for anyone else?"

He paused, then shook his head. She winced at the screeching sound the armor produced.

"Hand me the helmet, that thing needs to be oiled." She muttered, rubbing her ears. He chuckled and handed her the helmet. "Hey, Winry, have any spare oil?"

"Mm-hmm!" The girl mumbled through the mouthful of screws. She passed an oil drum across the aisle to Envy. Envy shook it, frowning at the tiny amount that sloshed around inside. She uncapped it, and blinked at the half-sharp scent that reaches her nose. _Oddly pleasant._ She splashed a couple drops on the edge of the metal, and used the edge of her shirt to spread it all the way around the rim.

"Here, Al." She passed the helmet back to him.

"Thanks." He put it on, and turned his head a few times. "Hmm, nice flow. You're good at this."

Winry looked up, looking interested. "Do you happen to be a mechanic?" She asked Envy.

"No, I'm a homunculus." Envy told her, amused. Her, a mechanic? Right...

"Oh. I thought, because most people don't know how much oil to use at first, and you used the same amount I would, that you must be one." Envy winced at the butchering of grammar that was all that sentence could be.

"No, I just used what felt right." Envy told her, shrugging. "I don't remember being a human, so I don't know about any of that. All I know is what I looked like."

"Oh." Winry looked disappointed. "Okay." The group fell back into silence. Envy turned back to the window, staring at the repetitive countryside. _Gah, so boring. _She mentally groaned. A tree passed so close to the tracks that Envy reared back in surprise. She glared around the cabin of their train. She tried to calm her bad mood, but everything was getting on her nerves. She glared at Ed.

"Somebody wake Fullmetal up, he's drooling."

After a long-winded train ride, Envy felt ready to kill something. Or someone... she glared at Ed, who had fallen back asleep. _There goes any chance at decent conversation. I'm not talking to the gearhead. She'll only want to talk about automail. _

_:Hey, brat. How's being a Homunculus going for you?:_ Envy jumped, eyes wide. _What the hell?_

_:Didn't I say I'd be in the back of your head? Geez, you'd think a Homunculus would have a better memory.: _The voice grumbled. _Oh, I remember now._ Envy realized. _The hermaphrodite in a pal tree costume._

_:Hey! I am genderless, not a hermaphrodite, bitch. And I do not look like a palm tree: _Envy snickered at the anger in his- its? voice.

_Same difference, bastard. What do you want? _She snapped at him

_:I'm bored, you're bored. Didn't I mention the ability to chat?:_

_ Oh, I see. I feel honored. The great palm tree wishes to chat with me?_

_ :You know what? Screw you! Be bored, for all I care!:_

_ I thought you came to chat because you were bored._

_ :Gah! Fuck you!: _With that, the voice vanished, leaving Envy with a satisfied smirk.

"Uh... Envy?" Al asked, looking worried. "Are you okay? One moment you're looking pissed, the next you look surprised, then annoyed, then like a cat with cream." He seemed to be worrying about her mental health. She laughed.

"No, I'm not bipolar. The old envy wanted to chat. I think I've made an enemy." She smirked.

Al blinked, and then decided it would be best to return to his book.

"Look! I can see Rush Valley!" Envy winced at the shrill voice of the gearhead. Ed jerked awake, instinctively performing alchemy and changing his automail arm to a blade.

"What the- oh." He reversed the transmutation, scowling.

"Nice." Envy said dryly. "Remind me not to wake you up by screaming, you might skewer me."

Ed flushed, looking annoyed. "Shut up, you."

She smirked. "Let's go, the train's stopping."

"Thank you for telling us, Captain Obvious." Ed snapped. _Heh, seems I'm not the only one in a bad mood. Envy thought, amused._

"You're welcome, Major Drool." She retorted.

They got off the train, Al and Winry still laughing and Ed still scowling.

They walked into the crazy town of Rush Valley, Envy feeling much more cheerful. She shook her head in amusement as Ed arm-wrestled with some guy with automail, and congratulated him when he won.

"Can I see your automail?" A guy asked Ed. Ed was then swarmed by others wanting to see it. She smirked in amusement, then frowned as a young girl broke from the crowd surrounding him and ran, holding a silver watch. _Ed's State Alchemist watch!_ She realized.

"Ed! That girl just stole your watch!" She yelled. Ed spun around, caught sight of the girl, growled, and ran. Envy sighed and shifted into a cheetah, and then broke into a fast run, leaving astounded people yelling, "Chimera!" behind her.

She quickly caught up with Ed, who hardly even noticed her.

The girl was able to jump amazing distances, and even Ed's alchemy was easily counteracted by her. _Shit, I'll have to do this myself._ A quick shift, and she turned into a dragon, one of the few things she could fly as. Her weight wouldn't allow any other shapes. She swooped down and knocked the girl into a building with her tail- or tried to, the girl just ducked and kept running. _Damn! She's fast!_ Envy cursed mentally, unable to talk in this form. She shifted back into cheetah form, landing gracefully in front of the girl. Instead of stopping, like most people would, she just gracefully turned and kept running. Ed was beginning to tire. He jumped over the edge of the roof he was on, and landed about a foot from the edge. Envy's head whipped around, something was wrong. Ed's flesh foot twisted under him, and he fell backwards off of the roof, his leg twisting in a way that made her cringe.

She ran to the edge, and leaped off, landing next to Ed. She shifted back into her human shape, and knelt next to him.

_Oh shit. His neck's broken._

A/N: Ooh, cliffy. Sorry guys, I'm going to write fast to get the next chapter up. Please, please review, or at least add this to Watch or Favorites. It lets me know I'm appreciated. Useless flames will be used in Winry's forge. Please be constructive! I'm enjoying writing this, for sure. Sorry if Envy seems like a Mary-Sue, I'm working on that. Tips, please? Domo arigato gozaimasu! Something you guys should know: The only romance in here will be EdWin, AlMei, and RoyRiza. I'm sticking to canon here. No OC/whoever here . I hate that. XP If I ever seem to mess up the order in which things happen, please let me know. I'm trying to keep everything straight here. Anyway, I hope you guys like my story. Can you believe I wrote this much in a few hours? I am enjoying writing this like I've never enjoyed writing anything. Fan fiction FTW!


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